FUCK!

In my attempt to please members of my family and trying to be a good son in times that are stressful for some of those closest to me I end up fucking things up and upsetting the others who are just as close to me. It all springs from my inability to take a stand and just say no to people. I also care too much for my pride to let myself look weak or insolent in front of my brother. I messed up. I always do this. I typically take a great amount of pride in being the go-to guy for people in need and usually my desire to please everyone and some bizarre sense of right and wrong and moral justice clouds my judgment and I always end up hurting or offending the people I don't want to offend. I can't seem to get anything right these days and my efforts to help out those in need have failed miserably. I was really excited for some of my future plans and in one of those moments of pride via responsibility to my folks I ruined something that would have been a (two) day(s) of glory and fun out in the desert and neglected my responsibility to my cousin/brother/best friend. I don't know, I should just stop promising things to people and stop saying yes to anything and everything that people want from me. This is how I become more and more anti-social. Fuck. A million times, I'm sorry.