Top 5

Top 5 things I learned from watching The Patriot.

5) There will (unfortunately) never be The Patriot II

4) Mel Gibson's son Thomas in the movie was killed only to encourage Mel Gibson to kill scores of others and prompting #3 below

3) Mel Gibson single-handedly won the American Revolution

2) Mel Gibson, much like Sir Samuel L. Jackson, can never, EVER die. When his Earthly body expires he will become one with the spirits, providing guidance to those both in search of and in need of it. He will also call you "Sugar Tits." And you will like it.

1) HUZZAH!