Thursday, December 11, 2008
Dear Sam,
Thank you for the kind words, they come much appreciated. You know that with your constant support that I share the same sentiments aimed in your direction. Not too many people have earned that in my eyes. While my plans for the future may remain somewhat uncertain, I know for sure that I won't just cut you out of the loop. Best of luck with your background investigations (not that you need any luck, you've got this thing in the bag) and (as you already) know that if you ever need anything I'll be a text/email/phone call away. Also, when those background investigators ring my number, they'll hear nothing but praise. Keep me posted on the status of your background checks and let me know when the next outing to the desert occurs so that I can ask for the time off of work. I'll see you in a week, Ginmah. Also, good luck with your final final tomorrow.
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21 comments:
Before I thank you for you thanking me, I would like to let the readers know that we are not gay'o'sexual. We are very much straight. But yes, thank you senior. What I say is true. Good luck to you with whatever you do, or wherever your journey takes you. Just don't forget about second breakfast while out in the woods.
Yes Sam, I'm almost certain that my journey will be a road...a road to mushrooms.
make sure you take the short cut. a short cut to where you may ask? MUSHROOMS! And send me a post card from The Green Dragon Inn. Careful of Rangers though, they've been known to infest those parts.
"one ring to rule them all"
I'll be sure to tell Tom Bombadil you said "hi" if I see him. I'm thinking of a title for my autobiography after I've traveled...I've a few ideas, but what are your thoughts?
"One ring to find them"
Ahhh, good 'ol Tom. Has he shaved yet? Doubt it. Make sure you climb Withertop as well. That place has history. But if you are going to cook bacon at night, cover the flames. Spies may see it! ....they like bacon.....i like bacon.
As far as a name for the book...hmmm...maybe, "A Hairy Cuban's Tale:There and Back Again"
"One ring to bring them all"
No, he hasn't shaved in quite some time. He grows hair faster than I do. I was hoping to go through the mines of Moria. I hear there are some neat things down in the darkness, but it's difficult to get in. Something about speaking to friends and entering. And yes, "A Hairy Cuban's Tale: There and Back Again" sounds like an appropriate title. I like bacon too. It makes anything taste better...it even makes more bacon taste better.
"AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND THEM!"
Ooooo well I'm sure that you will find a warm welcome from cousin Balin upon entering Moria! I'm sure you can taste the muttan and mead already! Just be sure you rekindle your torch from time-to-time. What do you think you'll do after that?
"Courage Marry"
Well, I was thinking about visiting some forest of Ent trees, but those things are like sleeping pills to me. They're old and everything, but a good Redwood has more going for it than an Ent does. I know some river canoeing is in order, but the place I want to go is apparently populated by some chain gang called the Uruk-Hai. No idea what that means. Probably some sort of allusion to a Shakespearean play or Beowulf or something. Maybe I'll meet up with Liv Tyler.
"I've got one! I've got a fish!"
Hey, watch your mouth about the Ents. They know middle earths history far beyond anything we ever hope to learn! Treebird himself speaks to the wind. Yeah, those Uruk-Hai. Ever since they were given their freedom they had to go and be all loud and proud.....
So I was thinking, maybe you should visit Rivendale? I hear Dil...I mean Bilbo might be there. You can steal ideas from his book and put them into yours? Eh?
"LOOKS LIKE MEATS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS!"
If I wanted to fall asleep during a history lecture I'd stay at SDSU for another 4 years. And as far as the Uruk-Hai are concerned, I don't see the point in getting tattoos on skin when you can't even tell the difference. One thing I do want to do is overcome my fear of giant spiders. I think I know where I can find one, but it won't be easy to get there. But I think the eventual journey will lead me to Elijah Wood's house. So that I can punch him in the face.
"I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me."
Treebird would be displeased. If you want to learn to conquar giant spiders, talk to that white witch/elf lady....man? Whatever she is, I believe you can either find her just west of Harle...ahem, I mean, the Urak-Hai woods or Emerald City. She will give you the magic elixer to ward off the foul beast.
"YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAASS!!"
S/he's not some sort of gypsy, is s/he? I don't trust no gypsy folk. I hear the "oliphants" (seriously? why not just go with elephant?) are bigger the further east you go; do you know if there is any validity to this? And tickle my whiskers if I don't find a good cloak shop!
"GANDAAAAAAAALF!"
No if she were a gypsy she would be forbidden to wear white. Hmmm, well if you want to know why they are called Oliphants you should talk to Treebird...oh wait a minute. You don't want to hear about Treebirds knowledge. Well you know something? $#%@ YOU!!
Okay back on topic...oh yes! there is a cloack shop I think you would fancy at Helms Deep. However, the chainmail has been proven to be a little too big for man and women of dwarf stature.
"What's taters precious? What's taters?"
Hmm...this Helms Deep intrigues me. Fortunately for me, I'm no dwarf. And I believe the preferred term is "fun-size." Maybe if I set fire to the Ents they'd get off their stumps and do something that isn't boring. But then they'd most certainly strangle me with twigs, sticks, vines, etc. And there's nothing worse than a forest fire. Unless that forest can run and scream in pain and agony. I think maybe I can also sign up for evil wizard school and use my intelligence to rule over the bla-uh...Uruk-Hai by promising them socialized medicine and affirma-I mean a chance to kill honk...er...good wizards. I'd be called Suaruman.
"Po-tay-toes! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!"
Boring? BORING?!! Are you kidding me?! Those ents attacked and flooded out the evil white wizards castle! How can they be boring? well, if it's fire you want, one of them did catch fire. He's probably a stump now. Maybe you should travel east....towards Hufflepuff....oh wait, that's from Harry Potter? No, you must go to Gondor! They like setting people on fire there!
"hinkley pukendilooo" (elvish)
Well once they get rowdy they're no longer boring, but it takes forever to get them to stir. I was thinking maybe Isengard. But that would mean having to deal with the tree folk. But I guess I could avoid them. Or just not talk to them.
"Must have the precious."
Look, there is no way you can get to Isengard w/o crossing through Ent Forest. you're better off going through the mountains towards Gondor. But that is where you will run into Shelob. Keep your wits about you!
"Shiiiire!! Baaaaggins!!"
So long as I get to meet the King of the Dead I think I'll be good, so to Gondor I go. Where should I venture after that? And I guess I'll have to deal with Shelob sooner or later. Just so long as I stay away from Cirith Ungol.
"It's the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy women."
NOOO! you do not wanna meet that king. He'll killz you! Send one of the sla- uh, Urak-Hai instead. What you need to do is come and pick me up in Chin'o'ton and from there we can go east....far east...to Mordor. Here we will cast the ring into the flames, and then ride oversized eagles to safety! Upon returning to Gondor we can sing in elvish cheer!
Or you can skip this whole trip and go to Bass Pro next Thursday with me instead?
"...and my axe!"
To Mordor? But there is no guarantee of eagles, just birdmonsters. There may not be a return journey. But there's time indeed for western seas. Eventually we'll turn back east, our backs against the setting sun. In my mind they're calling us to run. We'd better run.
And yeah, I'll head to Pro with yo...u. Just remember this one last thing:
"Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee. Don't you leave him."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz25N72cQxs
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