Wondering where I'd gone, Sam asked why I haven't been writing. Saying I've nothing to write about, I've just been presented with a nuisance to raise some noise about. Skaters and their fisheyes.
Ever watch a skate video? You haven't? Well that's probably a good thing seeing as they're ALL THE SAME! Consisting of quick cuts of one trick after another set to music that's always so God-awful that it most always causes one's ears to bleed, the skate video is so simply done and predictable that you have to wonder if there's not just stock footage somewhere and somehow all the skaters putting home videos together arrange them all in the same sequence. Sort of like rats in a maze all finding the same route to the cheese due to their sense of smell. The major thing for skaters is the fisheye lens.
The fisheye lens is a double-edged sword. While you get some great shots that add a nice effect to a typical photo, overuse causes you to look like you rely too heavily on it for "creativity." The problem is that skaters suck the creativity out of the fisheye. I've sold some. All have been to skaters wanting to use them for their skate videos. The reaction is always the same "aw, that'd be so sick!" They're also the most annoying customers as they seem to make the most fuss (and also the least grateful towards services rendered). The fisheye in a skate video is always used in conjunction with a slow-motion shot. There need to be a minimum of five of these in a one minute video in order for a skate-videographer's piece to be considered "bomb," but I hear the committee is thinking about upping the ante to seven/minute.
Reason I bring this is up is about half an hour ago I had some doofus and his sister coming in barking orders about a fisheye right when I'd gotten back from my break and wanted me to magically pull out the right step-up ring for their video camera when they didn't even know the diameter they needed for it and expected me to have all the necessary equipment for them. Even after telling them that we didn't carry all the parts they needed, they insisted I look for them right after I'd just gone through every single ring size we had and showed them we didn't have one that fit the lens they wanted to buy. Thankfully their dad came in shortly thereafter and told them not to buy it, otherwise I'd still be stuck with those mooks in the store having me dig through all the shit we don't have and refusing to listen to the guy who actually knows what he's doing. To counteract future inconveniences I've just taken the fisheye off the shelf. Take THAT you stupid kids!
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