Last Weekend, This Weekend

As I hinted at in my previous post, there happened to be something that I wanted to address that I observed last weekend. It all comes down to the phrase "grow up." For quite some time I believed myself to be more mature than many of my peers, a "big man on campus" if you will. Being younger than most (all) of my friends, I always felt that I had to bring myself up to speed in the "growing up" department. That was mainly due to the fact that my friends would always call me a "baby" (this was mainly by my female friends) for being younger than them all and not able to legally attend a bar until recently. In irritation I developed a sort of bitterness towards the people that would jab me with these remarks. I thought that having actually done something (or being in the process of doing something) with my life made me more adult, more mature, something better than the people who were simply working from 18-24, worrying more about their alcohol consumption and making ends meat than actually attempting to better their lives. I noticed the child-like behavior from those who dared to call me a child.

Let me start this again. People my age are idiots. Myself included. Very few people from age 19-24 are grounded or have any sense of maturity. The beginnings of adulthood are shown, but don't quite emerge until that humbling experience shows us how truly stupid we are. We have a reckless disregard for any and all people that are actually important to us, believing that they will be around forever to return to when times get rough. This isn't the case at all. We haven't quite learned to live for others, but absorb ourselves in selfish behavior.

I used to think that becoming an adult, maturing meant a sort of castration of the soul wherein we merely become shadows of our former selves. This, I know now, is not the case. Last weekend I met people barely older than myself and people much older than myself so much more mature, yet retaining a youthfulness that I never thought possible. I met people who I admire greatly for their shining optimism, their mature nature and yet their complete nerdiness. I keep trying to figure out what it is that makes them so appealing and I come back to the liveliness and the bright outlook on all of life. Their maturity (I believe) comes from experience and responsibility. Every single family member was this way, and each and every one of them made this once tortured soul feel at home and comfortable, as though I were a part of their family, or the kid who grew up next door and hung out with the family all the time so everybody likes him and treats him as one of their own.

The event was a surprise party celebrating my Grandpa's friends' 45th anniversary. The first time I'd met the surprise-ees was years ago, the first time I'd met their kids was the night before the event. And everyone who wasn't a part of my own family I met the day of the festivities. I made some friends that weekend that I'm certain I'll keep in contact with, hopefully for the rest of my life. While I haven't necessarily explained myself too well, I can say that these people taught me a lot about myself and have aided in some sort of bizarre process of shedding the skin of the old and preparing me for a new chapter in my life which I know will start once I've graduated in May. All I can say is thanks to these folks and to those who haven't given up on this lad. Man, I suck at writing.

Tonight I'll be out seeing Fountains of Wayne. I may or may not go on another hike tomorrow as I work 4-9.