Thursday, September 3, 2009

Things I Don't Like

Tecate Light commercials. I can't tell you how irritated I get by them, so I'll just post this 30 seconds of agony that tells everyone how Mexico changed the system in the U.S. Oh yeah, they really shook things up. The first commercial they put out about changing the way things worked made some sense in that they actually had things that could be associated with Chicano culture. It was irritating, sure, but it made sense. The second one they released just makes you want to slap someone. Here, we'll do a play by play on "bold changes"

1) A hero who follows his own rules? The man wears a mask. So what? Yeah, Mexican wrestling is more into that stuff, but televised wrestling is staged, and it's an American show that dictates who wins and peddles cheap excitement to a drooling audience. It's not Mexican because he chose to be the symbol of hope to Mexican wrestlers in th eU.S.
2) Changing language by "letting everyone get the message"? You're saying that you're letting everyone know that your yappy little dog might bite your ankles? Or the message that the dog you have is irritating? Yeah, we already knew that when it kept us up til 3am barking at shadows. How is a sign that says "perro malo" letting everyone get the message of something that was boldly changed by Mexicans? A "beware of dog" sign does the same thing. If there's a picture of a vicious looking dog on a gate, I think you've got the message. And if you've got a "perro malo" sign with a little rat-dog behind it, then it's not intimidating. The message you're sending is you're trying to be ironic by having a sign that says "bad dog" in spanish with some irritating dumpster-fuck to piss on your feet and then shiver the rest of the day because of the fear it has of everything that surrounds it.
3) Changing fashion by making it your own, huh? Y'know, the Mexicans already had their own unique fashion. And by putting a "clever" label on your shirt that makes fun of a high-class brand doesn't mean it's a uniquely Mexican/Mexican-American thing. Hell, capitalist companies market Che shirts. Does that mean they've changed communism and made it their own? Hell no! It means they made money off a bunch of saps with misplaced ideals. Just because you make Versace "Versanchez" doesn't give you a pass at a "bold change." And by having a guy with the perpetual stubble and the carefully preened "just got out of bed" look who appears to be no more Mexican than you or I, doesn't really sell the ticket.
4) The announcer doesn't even sound hispanic! He sounds like a white guy trying too damned hard to be the regular deep-voiced commercial announcer, but with a crappy accent. It sounds like my purposely gringoed accent when I pronounce Spanish words.
C'mon, what's even worse is that the people putting out the commercial know how stupid it is. Are those ads really going to make more Chicanos drink a shitty, new light beer? Nope. The same people are still going to drink it. People who want to get drunk off of cheap beer. But I can tell you that I'll never pick up a case of that crap, and I'm thinking that even regular Tecate has lost my occasional support. Jeez. Friggin' ad monsters. Had to go and rile me up.

4 comments:

Sara said...

In a way, Rey Mysterio did follow his own rules because he helped establish the Cruiserweight Division in wrestling. I'm not a big wrestling fan, but I just know that.

Tecate is disgusting. I'm more bothered by the beer itself than the commercials. I actually like the Versanchez shirt.

Stop being boojie, Andy.

The Suarpion said...

It's not the Versanchez T that bothers me, it's the way they advertise it. They're acting like they've revolutionized clothing by throwing an ironic statement geared towards chicanos on the front of a shirt. And do you really think Mysterio was the one who established the division? Methinks not!

Sara said...

I didn't say he DID, I said he HELPED. So there. Don't argue with me or I'll delete you off the drink-cast.

The Suarpion said...

NNNOOOOOO!