The Ridiculousness of Where I Live

So I've been trying to sleep for the past half hour and out of my window I can hear the miserable tune that is Creed's "with arms wide open"on repeat. On repeat! Who does this to themselves? And who chooses to torture me at this hour?

Recent Events

Ever since my return to the Pacific Northwest from California things have been pretty busy.  An overall excellent 4th of July weekend with the parental units as well as some good people.  Almost immediately afterwards we rolled into a week of late nights and little sleep.  I celebrated a couple birthdays for my good friends and I've got some time off coming up a week from Monday.

My brother will be visiting during that time.  I imagine we'll go and watch Guardians of the Galaxy (which I'm really excited for) and some touristy stuff.  Though I'm hoping he'll want to join me for a day at Pickathon.  I'm all for some live folk music.

Speaking of live folk music, Charlie Parr returns to Seattle a week from Tuesday.  Perfect timing for once!  I saw him the last time he came up here and I must attest that he's even better live than he is on record.  Extremely energetic and lively.  The man tells great stories and really gets the whole crowd up and moving.

I've been considering getting my first tattoo, and I think it's going to happen in the near future.  I've been thinking of the design for the past couple years, toying with the idea of what to get and I think I've finally got it all figured out.  It all centers around the same theme, but it's a matter of how detailed I want it.  We'll see what happens.

I watched the movie Troy again for the first time in years.  I honestly didn't remember how long it was, how many recognizable people, how bloody, and how cool it was.  Also one of the few movies where Sean Bean doesn't die.  Go Odysseus!  I've also been watching a shit ton of the A-Team on Netflix.  Mr. T does not disappoint.

I met a gal the other night while I was out who was totally cool and I would have gladly dated, but it turned out that Weezer's song "Pink Triangle" was essentially a truism for my life that night.  If you haven't heard the song, here it is in all its glory.

Holidays and the Like

So a couple things today. It's the day after Independence Day and I'm in  Portland visiting with my folks for a 4-day weekend. It's pretty damn nice out. I got to actually sit back, relax, and watch fireworks, which is something I haven't gotten to do in 3 years. Despite the fact that I was an old man right afterward and went promptly to bed is another story completely.

While getting tanked and being belligerent is good and all, and there's probably no better day aside from Halloween to do it, Independence Day is actually an important part of our history as a nation that I believe many take for granted. Being a first generation American and child to immigrants from an oppressed, communist country, maybe I have a particular appreciation for it.

But Independence Day, aside from being an excellent movie starring Jeff Goldblum, is all about a time we came together as a nation and triumphed as the underdog. It was the birth of our future. Despite how tainted and twisted our government may have become since its origination (which, if you recall, wasn't perfect even after we won the damned war and had to be illegally revised in 1789 with the constitution/Bill of Rights), the U.S. of A. is still a symbol of freedom earned and fought for.

While none of us were alive during those first days, I think there's a mentality that has been passed down through the generations that lends to our pride. And while it may be the birth of my family's generation in the States, I can say that I feel the pride of being an American. It's something that no other country who was given their freedom can understand. It's something that you'll fight feverishly, and to the death for. Something that no one who's tasted it through their own hard work and sweat can understand. A reason, no matter how much shit I give them, I will always have respect for the French and Mexicans. We took what was ours by right and didn't wait for it to be handed to us like the jealous fucking Canadians.

I live in a country that I'm proud to serve. I live in a country where you won't be arrested for having a differing opinion than what the government files out. A country that will allow you to live within it and openly speak out against it and hate it (though it doesn't mean you're not an asshole for dogin it and you also have the right to get the fuck out) while making sure your basic human rights are preserved. Really, does it get any better than this? Fuck no. So are you a dick for talking about how miserable a country we have? Yes. But I'll gladly defend your right to say it.

In other news, I saw a man wearing a shirt today that read "World's Okayest Dad." I hope to be that man some day.

Scratch

Our jump tonight was scratched. We had an hour and a half drive out to Victorville's airport to be told the winds were too high. But we all knew that already. Our contingency plan was to fly in on helicopters to our objective, but somewhere someone dropped the ball and we didn't go out tonight. Am I complaining? Hell no! We'll likely try the training event again tomorrow (tonight?), but it's shortened our time from three days in the blistering heat to two...unless they just push the whole timeline to the left. Which I don't think we have the resources to do, but I wouldn't be surprised if we were out for 3 days.

I'm exhausted.

Glad to have a cot to sleep on for the night rather than the ground, intermittently, about every other hour.

I can't remember if I allow comments from strangers on this thing.

I guess the kick I needed to get me writing again was to put me in the middle of nowhere.

There's a kid I work with (I say kid, he's 20) who I strongly dislike and would like to punch in the face. Repeatedly. While it's difficult to describe this kid and the reasons why he's punchable, an example of his irritating demeanor is that he drinks a beer and a shot of gin, then transforms into an emo prick alternate personality then talks about hurting himself or making inappropriate comments about peoples' dead siblings. I hate that crap. There are some things I don't need in my life. One of which is having to take care of some spineless prick who never learned how to interact with any sort of human beings then pushes away the people who extend a friendly hand by turning in to a comic book villain when he drinks. Crazy people.

That's all for now.

Training and the Like

So sometime tomorrow I leave for a three day outing to be sleep deprived and under-fed. Should be fun. Lights out at 3am, so I'll be up again. Might write some. I finished American Gods and I've been mulling it over in my mind. I recommend it. Anyway, with all that business done, I'll need to occupy my time. I didn't bring another book and everyone else seems to be entertaining themselves with some other form of media.

I snagged a box of brownies that I've been gorging on. They're pretty rich, so I may not finish them all by the time we leave tomorrow. I should have help, though.

My ruck sack is pretty fucking heavy. The price you pay for being in charge of all the radio equipment, I suppose. I don't mind too much for the quick outings, but when we'll have to walk about 15 miles (rumored) through the soft desert sand with nearly 70lbs on your back, you get a little irritated.

I need an outlet. Not electrically speaking. Just something to relieve stress. I have a membership for a massage place, which helps, but it's a once a month thing. And I haven't gone in a couple months. I used to go shooting, but I don't have a firearm in Washington (or at least not one I can use whenever I want) and without the right people around, it loses its comforting capabilities.

I get to see my folks for the 4th of July. That'll be nice. I'll meet them in Portland along with a close family friend who lives in the area. Not sure what we're doing,  but seeing them will be a welcome change of pace. And hey, no sales tax in Oregon, so that's always a plus.

When I get back to Washington I may go for a long drive. Not sure where. Just some place to go. Someplace new. Maybe Canada. Haven't been up there since I was 3 or 4, so I don't really count it as a visit. The only thing I can recall was getting a happy meal with a camera in it. It was a neon green, single-use camera. Thinking about it now, that's probably one of the coolest happy meals a kid could get.

Anyway, we'd driven up, my parents, brother, and I, back when the folks were still together. I looked up to see a flock of birds. Couldn't tell you what they were, but it may have been the first time I'd seen them flying in a "V." Or at least the first time it ever intrigued me. I turned my camera skyward, clearly not knowing at age 3/4 with a disposable camera the only thing that would develop on the film would be a blue sky with, at best, a few specks on it. But hey, let a kid have his hopes and dreams and imagination, right? Wrong. What I got instead was my dad practically screaming at me for wasting film and a sad Andy. Then, perhaps for the first time, I wished I was those birds, flying in that "V," if only to escape the over-reacting, overly angry paternal figure that chose to hammer in the point for god knows how long that you don't take pictures of birds up in the sky with a disposable camera that you got in a happy meal. Fuck your childhood and your imagination. Just get in the car and look at Canada.

Fuck you Dad. For everything.

California

I'm sitting here in a single-room building at Fort Irwin, CA where I've been for the past week and will remain for one more. Typing away on my phone, hoping my thumbs stay true and don't horribly butcher most of the words I write, I observe the room filled with cots, dirty, old, bent, faded olive drab cots. There's room for about 200, though only a fraction currently occupy the space. It smells of stale farts and body odor. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't a contributor to that smell.

The clock strikes 11:11 and I make a wish. Holding on to those childhood beliefs and superstitions, yearning for the day the wheel of fortune lands on my lot and all those fantasies become reality.

Over the last week I've powered through Neil Gaiman's American Gods as best I could. I've only about 100 pages left. One of the commentaries in the novel is media worship, and howthe beliefs of our ancestors are being forgotten and replaced. A cycle that of course is destined to happen. The replacement with technology is something disconcerting. That we give our time and ourselves to a sort of emptiness. Ironic of course that I write this on electronic media.

I look around this room and see many of its inhabitants on an electronic device. So many people. So few socializing in a human environment.

We've been on a reverse schedule. Sleeping in the day, working at night. If there were ever an equivalent to a vampire in the real world, we'd be it. We thrive in the darkness while light only betrays us and shows the world that we aren't the monsters that take you away in the night. We're just men. Flesh. Blood. Determination...though we would take you away in the with the sun up if we wanted to.

We've been told that lights out is 6am. Now I'm looking for things to occupy my time. Writing, for instance. Talking to my friends/co-workers/brothers. Maintaining my equipment. Finishing my damn book.

People don't write blogs anymore. Instead they write a caption. A thought. Post a picture. Copy and paste someone else's captions and thoughts and photos. When did we become so distracted as to lose interest in the expounding of a thought?

I'm scatterbrained tonight. I keep thinking about writing about a recurring complaint/problem that I have and is a source of constant frustration, but I can't overcome the feeling that writing about my problems is a cheap ploy to gain attention and start a pity party. And nobody likes a pity party.

Sorry I don't post enough. Hopefully this will suffice. For now.

Back in Business

So until Sam gets back on the B13, I'm switching back to old reliable.  Don't want to hog it all to myself. That being said, I've got a training in California coming up on Monday. While I'll be back the weekend before America Day, I doubt I'll update throughout my duration there. I do intend to post a little something-something before the weekend is up, so hey, look out for that.